Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
