I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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