I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
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