I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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