Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
