fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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