I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
