We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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