There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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