wakey wakey hands off snakey
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He passed out mid-signature
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
