Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
