Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
