I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize