I hate all girls vehemently.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
wow bdsm is so cute
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
