I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
