fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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