Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
