Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
