i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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