mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize