Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
