I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
4 words: hood of his car
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
