It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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