I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
