The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
