Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
