Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
