i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think people are normalizing furries
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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