I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
