Bisexual people are plain selfish.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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