How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
