I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
