I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
