these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
