They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
