We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
