Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
