Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
