Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
