i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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