I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
