By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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