Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
