sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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