my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
