So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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