Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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