so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
