There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize