Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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