suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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