she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
