we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
