Heybabeimwearingurpanties
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize