it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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