Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
