saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
