try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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